I’ve been told it’s always best to start at the beginning. But which beginning? Should I start 2 years ago when I had my surgery, 33 years ago when I had my first significant weight loss in 4th grade, 38 years ago when I first remember being teased for being overweight? No, I’m starting with today. 1/14/19, 20 pounds regained after the gastric sleeve surgery two years ago. I feel like a failure, I sneak food again, albeit in smaller portions, and I’m pissed off at myself. I got myself into this and it’s up to me to find my way out again.

One day at a time I will succeed, small steps, permanent results. I am going to rediscover my self worth, I will not let painfull emotions of miscarriage and infertility creep back in to destroy my happiness and hard work. I won’t let my powerlessness over infertility make me control the scale in negative ways. I will be brutally honest with myself and you.

Brutal honesty, the decision to have weight loss surgery was the hardest decision I’ve ever made. I have trouble making decisions, that is an understatement. I ask others opinions on everything, haircuts, clothes, restaurants, anything and everything. This was the first decision I made that my Mother truly disapproved of. Oh, I forgot to tell you I’m the youngest of 4 kids, and my family is close. We’re talking a modern day Keaton family from Family Ties, close. But being obese off and on, mainly on for 40 plus years, was too much. I couldn’t lose the weight on my own anymore. So I did it. I did everything right, so why am I here feeling like I’m back at the beginning again. I guess that’s what I’m determined to find out.

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton